A letter from Jonathan Edwards.
I have very lately seen a gentleman, who has, not long since, been in London and Norwich in England, and conversed with many persons of note in each place, and with those of your particular acquaintance in the latter.
And from the informations he has given me, concerning what he heard in both those places, especially in Norwich, I have reason to think that you have wrote and sent thither, that which has been much to the disadvantage of my reputation: which is the occasion of my writing this letter to you, the design of which is not to demand satisfaction, or to testify my resentment; but in calmness and charity to say something for myself, and in meekness to plead my cause, with one whom (however she has thought and spoke ill of me, and I have suffered much by her means, without cause) I can embrace in my charity, as a true follower of the Blessed Lamb of God.
I am so sensible of the exceeding infirmity, we are the subjects of in the present state, that what I have heard lately and formerly of what you have expressed with warmth of spirit, to the disadvantage of my character (as I think unjustly) don't make it difficult with me to make large allowance, for what I know of the circumstances you have been in, since you came into this part of the world, greatly tending to prejudice you;
and to introduce, and fix in your mind the most disadvantageous ideas of my temper and conduct, in many respects.
I suppose I am well sensible, what has been abundantly said of me, by some persons, concerning my natural temper; and the light in which my behavior, in many instances of it, has been continually represented. Nor am I insensible, what parts of my conduct, both before and since I have been at Stockbridge, but especially since, have been looked upon as chiefly obnoxious to censure, by those whose representations you have been most in the way of.
'Tis no part of my present aim, to detract in the least from the character of those persons, or to endeavor to restore and support my own character on the spoils of theirs; but only to entreat you, Madam, sedately to consider, what may come to pass, through the general great infirmity of mankind, in this present state of imperfection, darkness and confusion;
what diverse, and even opposite opinions of persons and things, men, even of good character, often receive, and strongly and zealously maintain.
And especially, how often this happens in their opinions of persons that have acted in a public capacity, and very important station;
and in the passages and incidents of whose lives, have occurred things that have been extraordinary, and beside the common course of events, and which have made much noise in the world, unusually attracting the observation, and engaging the attention and conversation of a country, and that in this case, it will be hard to form a right judgment:
especially if such a person's conduct is so much, and so long the subject of talk, that in the issue, there is a division into different parties, of opposite opinions concerning the matter, and the affair is clouded with the dust of controversy, managed with zeal and earnestness;
as often is the case.
And that also sometimes things fall out exceeding unhappily between persons and families, in the general of good character, so that misunderstandings arise, prejudices are strangely imbibed, and strongly fixed.
And though there be no real, or at least no great foundation, still the prejudice subsists; and by some means or other, a kind of mist of darkness is maintained, causing things to be viewed on each side in very false colors: in which, probably, the grand enemy of the peace and welfare of mankind has a great hand.
It is not hard to conceive that in such case, it may be next to impossible for a stranger, that comes from a far country, and falls wholly among one of these opposing parties, or misunderstanding families and at the very juncture when the controversy is at the greatest height;
to view things in a true and clear light, or to avoid being greatly blinded, and strongly prejudiced, in the first forming and fixing a judgment of the affair;
especially if it be fixed soon, without time for much circumspection, or any long deliberation.
A person, Madam, of your discerning, and who has had your opportunities, must needs have observed much of this kind in the world.
Therefore I would entreat you to consider whether this may not possibly be your case with respect to me.
So it has pleased God to order in his providence, that my life has been attended with a succession of such incidents of various kinds, as have, for more than twenty years past, been the subjects of much noise in the country;
about which others have been divided in their sentiments, and men's spirits have been engaged, with no small warmth, especially in some families.
And I would pray you, Madam, to consider that you are a stranger in the country; and therefore cannot judge of such affairs, as if you had always lived in the country, and had, from the beginning, been acquainted with its affairs; the rise of different parties, the tempers, views, interests and manners of different combinations and families; the first original of misunderstandings, which are subsisting between persons of various sorts and sets; and that your lot, from your first arrival hither, or rather before your arrival, was cast among (or rather in union with) those who have been on one side, with regard to my affairs; and that you never have properly had any opportunity to hear what I have to say for myself, or to know how things would appear to you, if I were to have opportunity of free and full conversation with you.
If this had been, and I had been heard with candor, and you had a view of the story of my life, from the beginning, with all the circumstances of those passages of it, about which so much has been said, and with relation to which I have been so much blamed by some;
you might probably have had quite other thoughts;
and many things which now appear very dark and mysterious, might have been explained, and have appeared very intelligible to you;
and you might be convinced that you have truly misapprehended facts, and misconceived of the principles and spirit from which I have acted, in many instances.
Not that I am so vain as to pretend that my conduct has been so pure, that I have had no cause of self-reflection and humiliation before God.
But this he knows, who searches my heart; that I have long made it my great care to approve myself to him, and to act in such a manner, and from such principles, as have been prescribed in the excellent rules which have been given, and the amiable and perfect example which has been set by him who is the Lamb of God, and light of the world.
And this I know, that if, in the important business I am employed in, I have acted, as some suppose, from private resentment, from implacableness of spirit, or stiffness and willfulness of temper, or an assuming disposition, and fondness of rule and authority, or any principle of a like kind;
I must have acted very contrary to the spirit and nature of the Christian religion, and extremely unbecoming the character of a minister of Jesus Christ; and never can expect to be justified before my great Master and judge.
But I forbear; perhaps any expressions which may seem to denote a confidence of my own integrity, may be thought to arise from ignorance of my own heart.
And I confess that experience teaches me, the need of constantly maintaining of a watchful and jealous eye over my own heart, with humble prayer to God for light to enable me to judge truly of myself.
But this I will venture to affirm with confidence, that if I have acted from such unchristian principles, and without an hatred of all remains of 'em in myself and habitual, earnest hungerings and thirstings after that righteousness, and true Christian piety and virtue, which consists in the contrary amiable dispositions of heart;
attended with earnest cries to God, with many tears, as the infinite fountain and sovereign bestower of such precious endowments;
it must be because I have been extremely and totally blinded concerning myself.
My desire is, and has long been, that God would search me and prove my heart, and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
I desire to speak and act at all times, as having in view the account which I have shortly to give to that omniscient and righteous judge, who is not liable to be blinded by vain pretenses and professions, nor mislead by prejudices and misinformations.
I doubt not, Madam, but that you thought you had sufficient grounds for the judgment you have formed of my temper and conduct, and the report you have made of them.
But I would entreat that there may yet be room for reflection and consideration, whether it is not possible that you may have apprehended things much worse than they are. If you should still think it your duty to persist in the same representations, which you have heretofore made to my disadvantage; and it should happen hereafter by divine providence that you should, by some means, come to be convinced, that you had wounded and greatly wronged an innocent person, and a minister of Jesus Christ;
who, notwithstanding all that had been judged and said by others concerning him, had indeed been acting in the fear of God, with tenderness of conscience, endeavoring in all things to acquit himself to the divine acceptance;
and was influenced by quite other principles than you imagined;
would not this deeply affect a mind endowed with a truly Christian humility, candor and benevolence of heart, such as I charitably believe you are possessed of?
However, if you never should have this conviction in this world of darkness, as possibly you may not I hope I shall always feel the same readiness to forgive you, which hitherto I have found;
though I know myself to be much injured, and may perhaps greatly suffer through your report to my disadvantage.
I shall comfort myself with hopes of the time when all God's people shall meet together in an unembarrassed, unalloyed charity, in a world of such clear and perfect light as shall abolish all misunderstandings, and even the strongest prejudices and dissipate the thickest clouds, through which many of them now view one another [under a] very false and disadvantageous light.
I know not, Madam, what construction you may put upon my writing as I now do. I know, when once persons have imbibed a deep prejudice against others, it has a tendency to cause them to look on everything they say or do in quite another light, than otherwise they would do.
But I ask your candor; and I ask your prayers, that God would take away what he sees amiss in my heart. If I am so ill a person as you have conceived, I need your prayers the more.
I condole with you the loss you have sustained in the death of Col. [Elisha] Williams, your honorable consort; for whose sake you left your dear native land and crossed a vast ocean, to dwell in a strange land; and who doubtless, was under God, the greatest support and comfort of your life.
That God would now appear as your mighty support and comforter, in your bereaved, desolate circumstances and sanctify the late death of this your nearest relation, and other relations, to you and me, is the sincere prayer of, Madam,
Your most respectful and humble servant,Jonathan Edwards.
http://edwards.yale.edu/archive?path=aHR0cDovL2Vkd2FyZHMueWFsZS5lZHUvY2dpLWJpbi9uZXdwaGlsby9nZXRvYmplY3QucGw/Yy4xNTo0OC53amVvLjE4NTA3NDguMTg1MDc1My4xODUwNzU2
No comments:
Post a Comment