Life of David Brainerd.
Thursday, August 4. Was enabled to pray much, through the whole day; and through divine goodness found some intenseness of soul in the duty, as I used to do, and some ability to persevere in my supplications: Had some apprehensions of divine things that were engaging, and that gave me some courage and resolution. 'Tis good, I find, to persevere in attempts to pray, if I can't "pray with perseverance", i.e. continue long in my addresses to the divine being. I have generally found that the more I do in secret prayer, the more I have delighted to do, and have enjoyed more of a spirit of prayer: and frequently have found the contrary, when with journeying or otherwise, I have been much deprived of retirement.
A seasonable steady performance of secret duties in their proper hours, and a careful improvement of all time, filling up every hour with some profitable labor, either of heart, head, or hands, are excellent means of spiritual peace and boldness before God. "Christ" indeed is "our peace", and "by him we have boldness of access to God"; but a "good conscience, void of offence", is an excellent preparation for an approach into the divine presence.
There is difference between self-confidence and a self-righteous pleasing ourselves (with our own duties, attainments, and spiritual enjoyments) which godly souls sometimes are guilty of, and that holy confidence arising from the testimony of a good conscience, which good Hezekiah had when he says, "Remember, O Lord, I beseech thee, how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart" parenthetical. "Then" (says the holy Psalmist) "shall I not be ashamed, when I have respect to all thy commandments". Filling up our time with and for God is the way to rise up and lie down in peace.
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There were sundry persons of the Indians newly come here, who had frequently lived among Quakers; and being more civilized and conformed to English manners than the generality of the Indians, they had imbibed some of the Quakers' errors; especially this fundamental one, viz., that if men will but live soberly and honestly, according to the dictates of their own consciences (or the light within) there is then no danger or doubt of their salvation, etc.
These persons I found much worse to deal with than those who are wholly under pagan darkness, who make no pretenses to knowledge in Christianity at all, nor have any self-righteous foundation to stand upon.
However, they all, except one, appeared now convinced that this sober honest life, of itself, was not sufficient to salvation; since Christ himself had declared it so in the case of the young man; and seemed in some measure concerned to obtain that change of heart which I had been laboring to show them the necessity of.
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